Sunday, May 8, 2011

9May 2011



Recently did't contact Ah yi maybe busy ba so did't contact him.. I hate people meet me than half way throught go met friend, make me wait so long at a place.. I dunno why when we meet up with ang u always quiet dun wanna talk, when anthony is with us you will also quite but will talk more, is it coz anthony noe how to entertain ppl n angs dunno? Everytime when we 3 or 4 meet together you will emo halfway through.. You should learn to let go this is not de 1st time u gt hurt by guys, u should change for de better or know where is de mistake n dun make de same mistake again, by not learning de mistake u still de same from de past.. U go think urself lah wat u really wan? Why u still accept to met "him" when u say u wann let go n dun think about him? When u will really grow up? u make urself look so checp in others ppl eyes do u noe that? I keep telling u all those logic i dun think u gt listen n went to think about wat i say loh.. Watever i say to u, u think is nth or say for fun? You shoukd go think why tee tian n felin dun wish to hang out with u, n dun think u treat them v well, maybe u just use them only... Everybody ask me to leave you but i nv did u ever go think of why i nv leave you? Coz i though u will change, change for de better but it seems that i'm wrong you are still de same aft few years.. if u dun wanna gt emo infront of ppl than dun listen to those emo song n refreash back de memory that u once had with him, do u noe wat's de meaning of letting go anot? Smoke drink beer all that is just an excuse.. You dare to tell ppl u noe me so long, but u dun even care or bother wat i say, dun even noe wat i dislike n like, dun even listen to wat i say..

Monday, April 25, 2011

26April 2011




(Memory of u & me)

when end work saw ur fb post n ah yi post on my wall de thing i dunno why i feel like crying my heart feel heavy. I would't tell de others how i feel even i wanna tell ppl how sad i'm now my mouth will stop me from saying, none of a word will come out of my mouth.. I dun wish to create more yao yan, i noe when i hav't break wif him i'm always close wif u bt now it's diff i just break n i dun wan them to say i break coz of u or watever, u can say i dumb so why must i care so much about wat they say, i just dun like de feeling.. u are not me how will u noe how much i feel right now? Even somtime i wish that u will surprise me by waiting at de staircase or my hus downstair n wait for me to go work, but i noe i'm just dreaming.. I'll went over to ur hus sometime to surprise u coz i wanna c u, my feet just wanna go ur hus n find u but i dunno why.. Thanks for letting me know that u have aldy stop loving me n going to give up.. How much u mean to me i'll just keep to myself u are forever my friend.. How gd u treat me will always keep inside my heart, hope u find a better girl who would't make u angry like i do.. I always di siao u or di siao ppl i dunno why i like to di siao ppl maybe it will make me laugh n happy for a time being so that i would't emo maybe this kind of method to di stress is not right n i should't di siao u.. I guess u will be happy few days later coz u no ned to take care a little, dumb, stupid n silly girl sorry to say that coz i'm just speaking the true.. U not ned to gt emo coz of me, i'll visit de hamster when i'm free, the pic really v cute.. I will have to grow strong 1 day so i'll go to the changi village myself, even if there's anything happen wif me also not anyone business it's my own business.. wo hai xiang ku, wo yao bian jian qiang, wo bu yao kao nan ren wo bu shi yi ge weak girl!! wo bu xiang yao jie ni de jian ban ku qi!! ni bu zhi dao wo de xin yao dou tong he nan shuo... good bye.. I dun think you will see this post since u say buy to me.. Maybe i should't post on the blog again rite, de way i msg u can't see my emotion i put hahas doesn't mean i'm happy if u emo n u dun wish to let de other ppl noe u will always put this to let ppl noe that u are fine..

Sunday, April 17, 2011

17 April 2011

Quarrel wif him on de phone, i did't mean to hurt him so much butyhis is de only way i can do to free myself.. Am i making de right decision? I really dun wish to gt into a relationship soon, i feel so tire de only thing i wanna do now is find a full time job quit sch n take private.. This is wat i wan now, Wish me good luck ba.. Slp whole day again guess i'm really v tire ba, just cut abit of my hair.. i need to straighten my fringe le... Plan to go for another Genting trip on Sept or Oct, must c wee tiong can take leave anot hahas.. Need to save money for many thing le... Jia you ba..

Thursday, April 14, 2011

15 April 2011

Saying break up wif him, chat for so long make me piss of n going crazy soon.. WTH.. I dun wanna bother anymore... FUCKING TIRE HATE U...

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Feel like crying...

11 April 2011

Dunno why i feel like asking u to send me to sch, but thanks anyway to accompany me to the MRT... I know u wouldn't be like last time le, i should change my bad habit n alot of thing i need to do.. If i ask u can i hug u again will u let me hug or reject me? Maybe i know the ans very well.. Guess u wouldn't c my blog again so no matter what i say is useless just talking to myself.. What my heart is thinking? either break n become single forever.. Make my decision to take private course, but the 1st thing to do now is to save money n find a full time job as for k box i temporary work as a part- time.. Did u really understand me well? will u know what I'm thinking now n do u know my feeling? U dunno how i feel how i wish i can dun bother about anything but all those stupid r/s thing n other thing keep coming to my door step n knock my door looking for me.. U dunno how badly i need a shoulder now, not everything i'll say out or talk to some1 I'm also a shy person, u dunno i need a lot of courage to say sth to ppl, sth that is difficult for girls to say.. U will never know it.. U wouldn't know how much i wish to hug u just now but the things that u said to me i know u have aldy change , it's gd that u have change to become stronger.. And i know i should do sth to slove my problem myself.. Love really hurt, n de true is more hurt than love n de reason i cry is becoz i noe a hurtful true... How i wish i dunno de true about him n that person so i would't feel so bad, is he taking revenge? Being close to a person mean flirt? Playing wif guy is flirt? U keep saying u trust me, but u didn't trust Jonathan that's why u dun let me go out with him? WTH u aldy told me de ans by saying that, u didn't trust me at all u dun trust.. Stop lying to yourself..

Saturday, April 9, 2011

9April 2011

Morning after work jonathan accompany me wait for aveline as it's wee tiong POP.. I meet her at cityhall mrt mac, me n jonathan went to marina square outside john little slack n chat around.. when aveline reach cityhall we than walk over to find her, chat alot of thing wif jonathan maybe i should think wat i wanna do now n not just hack care, there's sth we n hack care but not this relationship this.. Do i have a little feeling for u? Sign!! today otw back from garden there had a small quarrel wif him on de hp.. supper piss off.. Hais what my heart is thinking? jonathan n da tou dun really wish me to accompany aveline go wee tiong POP as i'll gt left out, as it's her bf for wat i go? Luckily jonathan accompany me go after i keep pleasing him haha.. Did't go work n attand de Sch committee thing, supper tire aft all de thing went home slp till nite than meet aveline, her bf n da tou for a dinner haha...



Thursday, April 7, 2011

7April 2011

Today working at Zone 1 saw 2 new full time server haha.. gt 1 guy look abit like xiao tou, n tat uniform tat he wear is dam nice than us, it's a black polo tee.. Work till 10 i going recept work till close not much customer today, but i dun like Mr jimmy friend those ppl at rm806 wam.. They always call jimmy here there for discount or Mr jimmy will give her friend FOC, let them smock inside or give special discount to them let them have de VIP Rm.. Today at briefing i was late n i dun like de thing tat he say in de briefing, was hard to work n i really feel v sian working at there.. Plus can say dunno is cold war wif him again or quarrel.. Sian ar.. I just wanna be alone awhile to cool down can't i? i just wann cry out can't i? Fine i dun wish to say anything le it's all my fault tat's it.., Ppl smoke, cut their wrist, take drugs drink alcholic to disstress but it's not use, i just now really feel like Buying cig or liqiour to disstress... I'm really tire if i really break i would't tep into relationship again it's so painful...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

3April 2011

Went to sembawang Park wif J, from Yishun walk to sembawang Park hahas de distance is supper far... Watch movie wif him at yishun GV Sucker Punch.. Went to HG slack at a void deck at hou gang Green gt a group of ppl went to sit infront of us n chat loudly, they were like xiao lian v noisy n keep saying alot of vulgar... Dam it i feel so irritating..

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

30 March 2011

Today i dunno why somehow i'm missing some ppl not only ah yi i dunno why i keep thinking of u n the word that u say.. wat happen to me today? Hais today my mood is going up n down.. I'm having a heavy headache, just now eating prata at Blk 749 haha feel so fun eating.. eat till halfway aveline n my spoon broke into two pieces haha so funny chat n slack while agt going back home..

29 March 2011

Today working keep quarrel wif da tou, learn how to do Bar Daily.. today when breifing they told me i'm de only server i was shock as dylan n kenny were not here n vicent off, michelle did't came to work.. Luckily gt de morning shift ppl OT to help me but 1 thing was tat d tou same zone wif me.. I am v tire n stress standing in de middle from de two of them, i wander how i can stay wif u for going 1 year without knowing u well, i keep neglect u but u still say u love me? I'm tire of all those thing work, relationship, friend n what more? i just feel like being alone i just wanna go beach n relax.. WHY? Because i lie to u once so u feel scare n dun dare to trust me again, so wat u wan? I feel like letting go, i told u tat i'll leave u is not just saying or asking for fun but it's real i'm tire of everything.. I talk to johnathan at Room 11 i did't close de door coz i dun wan u all to say or think anything but u ask da tou go n take a look can't i talk to a friend aft work? can't i play pool wif him at 801, u dun let me go there play coz only de both of us even i talk to him at K11 u also dun like so wat u wan? I really dun wanna quarrel wif u everyday but st i dunno why de thing u say / did make me piss off.. I noe it's not easily to forget de person that u love but did u ever ask urself why must u love that person so much since she keep making u angry, yesterday i wanna walk away not becoz i wanna cool down go be alone is because i feel like crying out of de sudden.. A Emo girl is always a Emo girl...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

22 March 2010

Today as usual nothing much.. yesterday saw brenda n tee tian at blk 736 void deck, me, da tou n aveline went down n chat wif them, aft tat we go NTUC wif aveline find de body wash tat she wan.. later we went to at void deck at 741 n slack while waiting for clememt, da tou went back at around 11pm.. while slacking de 5 of us share many ghost story n plkay true or dare.. Many thing happen recently n ppl are changing.. we can't compare this person wif another person..

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My 2nd plan? wat should i do? go take private course or take private 'N' cert n go higher nitec? So stress i gt debar from exam so wat's de point of doing de sch project? Hais so stressful, if dun study go find a full time job n work? today did't attend sch again think if this continue my dad is doing to kill me le.. Keep nag by them i feel so stress..

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


My Favourite Yo Ci Monkey ^-^

Confuss

I dunno why i'll cry aft he send me back home last tue.. i think tmr than i go take my x-ray report ba.. Hais when can i stop confussing? What is my heart thinking? why my tears nowadays so naughty, i dun wan it to come out it come out.. i dunno why i'll feel angry when u did't reply my msg even i noe that u should be slping as u are sick... Sian... Feeling emo suddenly..

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

School

School again i ned to faster finish up my DWA worksheet le... School is always de same for me... Internetworking time play game listen song did't really hear wat de teacher say haha.. Aft sch going hm than met jasper.. Maybe he's rite i dunno how to concern ppl.. DA TOU always say we must give n take but i always take seldom give.. I think i'm nt a gd gf why he still like me i rather being single than attach so de person who love me would't gt hurt so badly.. Tuesday i'll face sth myself haha say till like v big thing like tat haha...

Monday, February 28, 2011

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Monday 28 feb 2011

School again i guess yesterday i slp too much till morning i auto wake up but i still gt nua bed haha... went to sch at around 8.45 like tat haha.. my leg still v pain as de skin come out.. thanks to that high hill shoes.. Playing com in sch again as usual, feel like slping out of a sudden dunno why.. Teacher told me about my attance all tat n i really ned to think wat i really wan if i can't go to de course i wan, maybe i should try to like tis course ba... haha hais sian ar.. Either sch, Shopping, Slack Work or slp Nothing much to do in my life... Everyday liftstyle 4S n 1W daily 24hr life... Feel like gouing for a gym next time or play some sports wif friend, i've growing fatter n fatter le haha... Hais still feeling sad when i think of my lost money, why i did't put my wallet back to my bag aft buying drink why must be running around aft i buy de drink? Hais it's really a big shock for me to let me noe i lost my money when i buy de snack in de morning on sun 27 Feb 2011.. Feel sad n heart pain but wat can i do it's aldy gone n it would't come back again.. I maybe noe who steal my money but i can't confirm, sad my money arrrrr.. This is de second time i lost my money le why?? Am i too blur or careless? Sad TTM going EMO.. Feel hungry suddenly, stomach v empty.. Going to have lunch soon le wow... Great yea...

Thursday, February 24, 2011

School

It's sch again... Hais I really dunno who i really love.. Did i love u or him? I'm v confues maybe i'm scare to accept guys that is working in kbox ba coz of all those ppl who like to talk behind ppl back.. Should i leave this outlet soon? I dunno why when we chat on de phone yesterday my tears come out.. Why it's u n why it's me? Why must i make a dicision between de two? Can i just being single n dun choose anyone.. Smetime i just feel like crying but my tears just dun wanna come out.. Now my favourite song will be XIN DONG & HE SE YU MO.. Can i just be alone for de rest of my life? Ppl always told me that being love is de most happiness things but maybe i dun think tat coz de person who love me suffer alot.. I always overslp maybe i'm too lazy to wake ba.. I noe that no 1 can replace ah yi coz he noe me well than other ppl.. Are u my other half? or maybe my other half is not hee yet? The hurt that u(wei jie) once give me i've try to heal it but did i forget how to love a person aft u left me? What is de feeling when u love a person? What is de feeling when u hug de person tat u love? What is de feeling when u hurt your love onces?? 

Stress

My dad ask me i still wanna study or not.. Maybe i should really think wat de hell i wan.. Sometime i ask myself in a relationship how can they be together for so long? I'll talk till here ba no time to talk got to do my own thing le..

Sunday, February 20, 2011



EMO

Yestersay after wprk jasper bring me to ECP to relax n he bought a big bear gor me i name her Ci Xin as my fav monkey call Ci Ci n his name is jie xin haha... Suddenly think of my ex n why we break i feel like crying although i just drop a few tears, i try to hide it from him as i dun wan him to noe i was crying.. I dunno why i keep hugging him maybe i like to hug him coz i feel v comfortable? haha... Chat n play firework at there haha my rocket fail to fly sad haha.. We take cab to my hus there to prepare for sch n he went to de nearer coffee shop.. I noe there's no rite or wrong in a relationship n loving de wan that u should't not love is not ur fault.. Love is a v selfish, hurtful n painful things n i guess all those thing u have experince before.. Emo? by emo everyday also would't heal the pain for wat, n by hurting urself u would't destress so why must u hurt urself.. If hurting ourself will help us to destress i would like to try but sad to say i can't.. I really wanna take a rest i really cannot take it.. Being in de centre is hard but wat can i do? U always wanna hide ur emotional from me but it still can see through.. Sorry for making u walk around n keep neglect u when i'm wif my friend, but next time i really wanna go tour around hou gang on March maybe coz i'm having hoilday haha.. Tire tire tire i feel like sleeping i type this post n play FB till i feel like sleeping OMG i dun feel like doing her work so tire.. I dun wanna kell my brain cells for doing the work.. Hump i still ned to help marcus type de Resign Letter Hais tire ar... So many thing to do.. This month work so litter only but wat can i do my  classes end very late plus i gt things to do.. 1 week i try to work more than 3 time but always gt thing to do not friend ask for help if not is sch thing pop up on weekday.. Sian ar... HELP!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Sch again.. i dunno why yesterday i hurt Jasper.. I noe de hurt i give him is like puting hundred of knift in to his heart n pull out at the same time, I'm sorry coz other than sorry i really dunno wat to say, even he dun wish me to say this word.. Sorry for what i did n sorry for making u fall in love wif me.. I love there's no rite or wrong in falling love but i dunno why.. Thanks for treating me so gd n be my listening ear when i'm in a low mood.. U are my 2nd guy friend that i will share my trouble with other than my ex- gan lao gong Ah yi... You are a gd n caring guy but maybe we dun have the fate to be together.. Giving up your love is really v painful.. but sorry. Maybe being friend is better than being a couple.. I'm happy coz i onces have u as my bf althought it's just few hr but i'm really happy.. All those things that u do for me i'll remember n keep it in my heart forever.. Love a person may not ned to be with her onces she's happy u will feel happy for her.. Sorry for letting your mood down when u see the msg that i send you yesterday.. Sch again and it's PE we run 4 round at the hall n play badminton...  I dunno why i keep sweating non- stop, there's no fan in the sports hall n i'm v hot, we play till v happy we keep laughing as there's many funny action haha.. Next time must bring towel to sch le coz v hot feel like going for a bath, haha.. After PE is our favourite luch break haha.., Eating time.. Went to 7-eleven n have our lunch n went to Co-op shop to buy drinks n went to our class for next lesson.. I dunno why i abit dun like cun yi maybe coz she would't make fun of u back when u make fun of her she'll think you are saying it true n not making fun of her or maybe she dun like ppl to make fun of her ba.. She keep beating me when i say her n teck lee.. Hais i dunno the course that i appeal can get in anot if cannot i dunno what i should do le.. hais Wander how's jasper kor kro.. HE's my Special friend to me.. maybe a 2nd ah yi ba..

Monday, February 14, 2011

school

Sch again i dunno how to do that assigment that the teacher wants us to do.. I suddenly feel v emo coz my application for april intake is unsuccessful.. WTH.. I suddenly feel v lost should i take back office skill or should i take private? I'm v confuess n stress.. Plus what da tou tell me in the morning make me feel stress n sian.. Feel like going to the beach later n ALONE!! Feel like crying out of a suddenly but i can't cry in the sch.. I'm nt a strong girl aft all... 

Sunday, February 13, 2011

It's so boring... Hope i can transfer to other course if not i dunno how am i going to stay in this course... Hais.. Go sch always use com till dunno wat i can do le.. Sian wed got work hump this month must keep working n save money for my laptop... Help i very bore hump how i wish i can slp now..

Happy Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's day today, feel not excited about it although it's just 1 time in a year.. I dunno wat i'm thinking or feeling.. Hais.. last saturday watch movie with Jasper i dunno why i suddenly lie on his shoulder n i feel v secure.. I dunno why i have a though n tat's did i have a little feeling for him? I told myself not to think so much n continue watching that movie call homecoming.. It was a very nice movie, it's funny n meaningful i like it very much.. I try to make him happy coz i dun like to see him having a emo/ sad face, but i dunno why sometime i still make him angry.. He's a very good friend wish i dun wish to lose.. But i scare he will leave me 1 day n would't care about me again.. Sometime i like talking to him i dunno why n he's my 2nd guy friend that i'll tell them my Xin Shi.. Last time i'm very scare to tell ppl about my trouble n when i'm emo i'll be alone in a place look into the sky sitting down at a place for few minutes n went back to my hus.. I always think that i'm forever alone even i have a friend i think that they are not my friend i'm just like a toy to them, when they ned me they will come n find me but when they dun ned me they will throw me one side this kind of feeling make me hate making friends.. But wat can i do i really dun have de courage to trust anyone i'm scare.. I try not to let the one that care n love me worry about me, but sometime i fail to do that.. I always try to hide my emotional in work n sch but who know? I like going to a beach to look at the sea, stand at a side n feel de breeze it was so cool n relaxing it meke me feel better after that.. But i dunno when i'll have de time to go there again n with who or maybe i'll go there myself? Sometime being lonely is not bad but sometime you will feel scare without a reason...

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

 so sian... What u told me yesterday i'll remember de sorry for hurting ur heart again.. U should try to forget me n find a better girl than me.. In the 1st place maybe u should't have told me that u love me n wanna wait for me..

Monday, February 7, 2011

I Really don't wish to lose a friend again, If i know you will love me because i'm too caring n keep console you when u broke up with your ex maybe you would't fall in love with me and all those things would't happen, and everything will be alright but we can't change anything now...
One- sided love is very xin ku n it hurt when you see the person you love with his/her bf/gf together, why can't you just let go when you aldy know the person had a gf/bf?? Waiting for someone that may not be yours is really v toture right.. I noe you heart is pain n i can't do anything to heal back your heart coz i'm not yours...